“Hi David,

I’m writing this email to you because I’m appalled at the state of the food being served by your new “better” suppliers. Leaving aside the fact that lunches arrive late (sometimes just before the end of school), and that they look like they’ve already been eaten, what is the message we’re sending our school kids, David?

Look, we all know that you grew up in a time of plenty when kai (that’s food, David) was available to everyone - nothing like the chefs at old AGS right, David? But now that you’ve reduced the budget for a meal to $3 and employed a company known for terrible service delivery, we can all be honest and say it’s a balls-up.

By the way David, did you know that the fees for your old school, Auckland Grammar School, for a year would pay for around 8400 of these meals? The weekly accommodation fee is $400, David, enough to produce more than 100 school lunches. Sure seems like an imbalance.

Thanks for reading this David. Till the next pile of mush.

Yours sincerely,
NZ”